Hey everyone.

I moved my blog to sisterwithteeth.blogspot.com
-Christina

it's a very small movement your head has to make but big enough to make the hair on your arms that's so unattractive stand up like soldiers at attention who will never come home then down they go again and down your throat that taste that makes it easier to scribble or take a cock

what is this that is all so vile like silk worms in my brain turned black like the hair on my head my grandma doesn't believe is mine my mother is filipino what other color should it be

someone call a priest who can exorcise this thing from me someone call the hospital check if they have a bed that's free

I woke up
I started crying and
I didn't stop
Took pills all day with your nasty
city's water
I started early and
I didn't stop
I guess the water here is better tasting than the water in Philly

your side of the bed is
heated but too hot for me
but mine is too cold
will i ever figure out these
things
maybe find a middle ground

your back is to me but that's how
i like it
don't touch me while i am trying
to sleep

when i am feeling dumb
when i am feeling small i use
lowercase letters where capitals
should be
when i am feeling inadequate
when i am feeling sorry i use
abbreviations
idk
wtf
it makes me look stupid
i have created this person
who is stupid
i have created this persona
who is more stupid than i
i have lost touch with who i am
i have forgotten i am a human
i have forgotten they are human
i have forgotten how to live

again

there is so much to say
it is stuck

prick me with pins
sic your dogs on me

my grandma asked if you mind
if i smell like cigarette smoke
do my clothes smell like smoke
does my mouth smell like smoke
does it taste like ash
i told her you smoke too but only
sometimes
and always only out of my pack

it has been awhile since
i've written maybe
awhile for me can be two days or
two weeks it doesn't matter anymore
time moves so slowly
and i watch either content in a haze
or in a haze of white hot rage
wow that was dumb as fuck

anyway what should i write about

today in a cafe a really nice boy overhead me say i was jealous
of my grandma's coffee and asked
why i couldn't have any
i told him the caffeine makes my
anxiety worse
he brought me a mug of chamomile
tea and a bottle of lavender honey
and said
"here you go peter rabbit"
it is moments like that that touch me
the honey had a real sprig of
lavender in it
my grandma said she thought he
"fancied me"
i told her he was gay

i found a pair of boots i like
i think i will get them tomorrow